Have you ever had one of those weeks when everything is going tickety-boo? All the to-dos seem to be getting done effortlessly, and you are even early for appointments and events?
I was reminded of a week like that as I scrolled through my phone’s photo gallery recently. It was a very full week, with several social and business engagements. This meant I had to dress business-casual and look somewhat ‘professional’, so no bare feet, yoga pants, or T-shirts. That Saturday, I was working a promotional booth for a group I volunteer with and was in charge of setting up the display, running the PowerPoint presentation, and chatting with people about our organization. I showered, dressed, gathered everything I needed to bring, and headed out, loaded down with display items. As I moved through the parking lot and into the building, I found myself leaning slightly to the left. Dropping my display items onto our designated table, I took off my coat and wondered why I was feeling a bit lopsided. Well, it turns out that in a not-so-mindful moment, I had rushed out of the house wearing two different shoes with two different heel heights! I burst out laughing and wondered how on earth I had done such a thing.
This little episode inspired me to reflect on what mindfulness really is. The word itself has become a marketing trend, appearing in advertising for products, vacations, events, and lifestyle choices. It seems that mindfulness can be easily acquired if we buy the ‘right’ things, say the ‘right’ words, or present ourselves in the ‘right’ way. But who decides what is ‘right’?
Chogyam Trungpa suggests that “mindfulness is defined as moment-by-moment awareness of thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment, characterized mainly by acceptance – attention to thoughts and feelings without judging whether they are right or wrong.” (www.thewayofmeditation.com.au)
It is the awareness without judgment that is the basis of the work I do, and more often than not, the most difficult part of the practice. Mindfulness observes, pays attention, and trains our brain to be focused and present in the moment, but judgment often sneaks in. It is easy to let the ego-mind swell with pride at how well it pays attention.
- Have you ever tried eating mindfully, savouring the taste and texture of each bite, chewing slowly and attentively without scrolling the internet, reading, or talking? Wasn’t it a great feeling and a delicious meal?
- Or have you sat without fidgeting for 30 minutes of uninterrupted meditation and thought it was the best meditation ever?
- Or taken a moment to pause and breathe deeply each time the tone on your computer sounds before checking the new message that just came in? And maybe berate yourself just a little when you forgot to breathe and went straight to the message?
These are fabulous mindfulness practices I engage in often, and when they go smoothly, there is a sense of accomplishment, but that feeling is a judgment on my part – Look at me, what a great mindfulness practitioner I am!
What about those less mindful moments? For example, my shoe story. Those are the moments we are less likely to admit to. Those are the moments when we are not so special; we are just like everyone else in our day-to-day challenges. (I was amazed at the number of women who saw my footwear dilemma and said, “Oh my gosh, I’ve done that too!”) Becoming a mindfulness aficionado does not make us better than other people; it does not boost our status on the ‘spiritual journey’. If anything, it is humbling. It is the realization that we are human beings struggling with the challenges of being alive. It means that we are always a work in progress and sometimes, no matter how much we practice, our attention falters and the monkey mind takes over. It is really an acceptance of things as they are.
I wonder if the truest practice occurs in the mundane, daily moments of our lives, in those ordinary, seemingly unimportant times when nothing is particularly noteworthy. I also wonder whether, in those moments, it is more difficult to let go of judgment, step out of the dualities of right and wrong or good and bad, and be with what is.
Chogyam Trungpa also writes that “mindfulness and awareness work together to bring acceptance of living situations as they are. We need not regard life as something worth boycotting or indulging in. Life situations are the food of awareness and mindfulness.” (www.thewayofmeditation.com.au)
The tools of breathing, meditation, and hatha yoga combine to create a place within us that thinks and moves with detachment to results. These practices also cultivate compassion and kindness, especially when we let go of judgment. Don’t boycott life. Do your best to engage with it. Pause often, breathe deeply, and smile at the world around you – draw on all your senses, notice the minutiae, the colours, the textures, the tastes, the sounds, the smells, and celebrate this opportunity to be fully alive.
Wishing for you a fabulous day – no matter what shoes you’re wearing!
Wendy xo
